Patience is a...

Lot of work.

It's been a while since I've been able to post. Or rather, it has been a while since I've been inspired to write anything. I spent last week lounging with the kiddos at my mom's house while John was working long hours on an upcoming deadline. I had had thoughts to write down, but I couldn't heave myself off the comfy leather couch planted squarely in front of a television (something our house does not have) with all it's flickering lights and captivating sounds.

We're home now. The kids are finally in bed. Today was another tough day. I've been praying for patience lately, because even on the best of days I tend to loose said virtue toward the end of the day. I just want things to move along. After dinner it's clean up, bath, books, prayer, bed. Nothing else. No dawdling, nothing. Why don't you get it little two-year-old? I have to remember I'm not a drill sergeant and she's not a recruit. But at the end of the day, when I'm on my own still with the two kids, and I just need to get to everything that's been piling up around me all day (or to that tv show on hulu I've been waiting all day for), it's hard to stay patient.

So, I've been praying for patience. The only way to learn it, though, is through experience. The experiences often get more and more trying the more patience you need. So far, it's always been with the toddler that I've needed to learn patience. Now the little guy is throwing his best. We all have colds, which doesn't help. It's raining, which I'm sure doesn't help. The little guy just won't sleep. He took no naps today. None. Nada. Eight month olds are supposed to nap twice, get 14 hours of sleep. My little guy, didn't fall asleep until two minutes after I started writing this. No, wait, he did fall asleep. As we were pulling into our driveway. For two minutes.

This may not seem all that stressful. But when you've got a baby whom you know is fed, who has no fever, who has had his nose cleaned, medicine administered, and diaper changed, but who still won't fall asleep, something happens to your sanity. And when in the midst of all this you're trying to care for a sick toddler, a messy house, and sick self, there's no chance. But like I said, I've been praying for patience. And I can say today could have gone worse, so hopefully I'm learning something.

It's easy to remember while the house is quiet and I'm typing all these thoughts out, that I just need to breathe, and pray, and remember all this is temporary. But in the thick of it, it's not so easy. Perhaps it's time to really set up interiorly the things that matter, to really engrain where the priorities in life lie. First of all, that the things of this world pass away. That my job is to love God and then love the people He's created. My family are those people. My kids are those people. And how much more should I love them since I helped to create them. So I'll keep praying for help, for patience. And I'll keep centering on what's important. To love.