It's funny how much has changed in the past year. A year ago, I may have had a complete meltdown if one or both of the kids was off the routine. Sleeping especially was something I was super wound up about. Now, my baby is going to be one in a couple of weeks, my big girl is acting, well, bigger every day. And things don't seem as catastrophic if they're out of place. In fact, I'm finding that things can sometimes be easier if I let loose the reigns and shake things up. It's nice having distraction from the everyday with visitors and trips, play dates and spontaneous picnics or tea parties. It keeps things from feeling stagnant and insular.
I think I relied so heavily on that routine when I had two under two, and had all the stress that came along with that. Now that J has his feet under him, literally--he's walking now, I feel as though I have mine under me as well. Things that I wouldn't have thought possible a few months ago, are now suddenly possible again. I feel a sense of freedom in a way, like I can finally calm down and enjoy watching my children play together. I can more calmly (most of the time) help them learn to share, not hit, take turns, make music, and run around together. J is learning to communicate a lot more, and can certainly understand a lot more. His signing has blossomed over the past few weeks. It is amazing watching his personality unfold with all his new found abilities.
There are certainly still times that my patience runs thin. And I'm sure there will be difficult patches as J begins pushing limits once he realizes that they are there. For now I'm optimistic. Slowly, step by step, I'm regaining my balance.
